Erotica Readers & Writers Association Blog

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Cocaine Love

By: Craig J. Sorensen



Recently, a good friend has been going through the sort of relationship that has more pivot points than a double jointed hand with six fingers.  It started before I left Pennsylvania in June.  It ended before I left in June.  Started again after I left, ended again.  Started, ended… well, you get the idea.

She’s a beautiful young woman, highly intelligent, very creative, and successful in a field that is not easy to be successful in.  They have a lot in common, and just one or two things where they differ.

But they are big things.

Each time relationship 2.0 and 3.0 and etc. ended, he gave me a post mortem of how wonderful it felt when the relationship started, how she was so understanding about his want to take it slow.  He described how quickly it changed toward the end.  As he described the cycles in the most recent release, it occurred to me what he was describing.  And maybe you’ve seen or felt it too:

Cocaine love.

When I described it in those terms to him, he practically screamed it out:  "That's exactly what it is!"

Cocaine love:  Quick on the uptake, full of chemistry and biology and euphoria.  More often than not this kind of relationships end with an equally resounding crash.

Ultimately, each time this cocaine love began with her accepting his position on a fundamental point.  By the end, the actions spoke louder than words, and this flexibility fell away like a mask.  And the principle he is operating on is one that really shouldn’t be asked to change.  Each time the relationship finished, he said how stupid he was, how he won't get caught in that trap again.

Ahem.

It comes down to a person who will “give everything” if he just “change one thing.”

But the essence of true love is not asking one to change their fundamental principles, especially when they are the same core values that make that person special.  And that is the case here.

There are many things that can lead to a cocaine love, but the bottom line is that it is hard to live on a steady diet of cocaine.  Maybe cocaine love can work, if both partners are committed after the high wears off.  And sometimes that means enduring the withdrawal.  Together.

The great relationships are like a fine meal.  Invigorating, and can be exciting, but sustaining as well.  A good meal doesn’t have the potential to emaciate the way that narcotics can.

Usually one person is the narcotic in a cocaine love, while the other is deep in the high.

Again, this is not to say that a couple truly in love cannot have an intense sort of desire, but there is a certain false-front that defines cocaine love.  And the essence of being able to see past it, is being willing to take a look at the relationship in profile.

The essence is seeing the difference between being high and being nourished.

I've used the dynamic of cocaine love in stories.  It makes great material, especially in erotica, but a lot better explored in fiction than lived through in life.

Just ask my friend.

4 comments:

  1. This sounds quite familiar, Craig, although in my case, this recent experience has not been a love relationship, but a situation with a band, which, come to think of it, is not unlike a romantic relationship! There are a lot of highs in performance, but after a while, if there's no heart, it all comes crashing down.

    It certainly is more comfortable to be able to sit back and recognize this dynamic in someone else's story, but to look on the bright side, when you're living the material, it does hopefully make you wiser as well as a better writer.

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  2. Yes, the cocaine relationship can indeed extend beyond the borders of romantic love, Donna. And band relationships can be pretty intense, and sorry to hear about the crash you experienced. It's definitely a hard thing to go through.

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  3. Hi, Craig,

    I've been fortunate enough not to have experienced this personally, but I recognize the description.

    Chemistry is definitely something more or less divorced from the rest of one's emotional and rational apparatus. I *have* had the experience of finding myself desperately attracted to a guy - pheromones, instant ecstasy when we touched - and then discovering that I really didn't *like* him much as a person. Kind of painful. Chemistry can definitely make you do things you'll regret later.

    "Cocaine Love" would actually make a great story title - except that some readers would expect it actually to be about drugs.

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  4. Hi Lisabet,

    Yep, chemistry can be a similar dynamic, and I have been a victim of that one. The body says a resounding "yes," the mind says "no," and what to do?

    Might make a good post for the future...

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