Monday, June 6, 2016
By Ashley Lister
One of my favourite poetic standbys is the list poem. Because, in real life, I’m a serial list-writer, I find it easy to slip into the mindset of writing lists. Maybe it's something to do with having the name 'Lister'?
This is from a poem I wrote a few years back entitled ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’. It will be noted that the word WOFT is an acronym for Waste Of F*****g Time.
Have I muted my mobile?
Is my mouth fixed in a smile?
Can I slyly check my watch?
Dare I scratch my itchy crotch?
Can I count the ceiling tiles?
Will all this sitting give me piles?
I’ve written mine rhyming couplets, although that’s just personal preference. These can work in blank verse or with a rhyming structure behind them. What sort of lists would be appropriate for an erotic poem? How about a list of things I think about whilst blindfolded? What about a list of things I think about when you’re away? Or list of things I should have said? This is how ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’ continues:
The chair’s a witless pseud pretender
Who brings a typo-plagued agenda
He’s followed by his office flunkies
A troop of trite arse-kissing monkeys
Collective covens then collude
Whilst fat ones focus on free food
And everyone gets their free drink
They’re here to eat and chat – not think
And I stare at my blank notepad
And tell myself it’s not that bad
Whilst letting my self-esteem diminish
And wond’ring: “When will this crap finish?”
Should I know that woman’s name?
Dare I check my watch again?
How long ago did this shit start?
How long can I hold in this fart?
As always, I look forward to seeing your poems in the comments box below.