tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post4452562473048786060..comments2023-05-30T08:29:42.770-04:00Comments on The Erotica Readers & Writers Association Blog: Writing ExerciseCroco Designshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04417265522875605547noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-11649822938391483882013-11-23T09:10:01.302-05:002013-11-23T09:10:01.302-05:00Thanks Ash :)
I'm good, thanks. Not sure how o...Thanks Ash :)<br />I'm good, thanks. Not sure how or why I missed the last couple. I'm usually more diligent. I might have been on holiday, I think.Rachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-76997437634460794892013-11-23T06:51:44.221-05:002013-11-23T06:51:44.221-05:00You got the words 'hypoxic' and 'proge...You got the words 'hypoxic' and 'progesterone' in a poem without interrupting the scansion or upsetting the flow.<br /><br />Damn but you're good. I've missed you these past couple of months. Hope everything is OK.<br /><br />AshAshley Listerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11997769708965362938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-60463322214934957222013-11-19T12:22:37.233-05:002013-11-19T12:22:37.233-05:00Nettie: Utterly awed. I am such a sucker for a goo...Nettie: Utterly awed. I am such a sucker for a good enjambment.<br />Lisabet: What a delight, but so chaste at the end!<br /><br />Ashey: Marvellous. So good I almost didn't even attempt a rejoinder!Rachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-51885319477681718282013-11-19T12:19:30.712-05:002013-11-19T12:19:30.712-05:00Breathplay Rondeau
You hold your breath, I count...Breathplay Rondeau<br /><br /><br />You hold your breath, I count to three<br />and make you give it back to me<br />I clamp my lips against your own<br />my skin to yours, my flesh and bone<br />connected to you ardently<br />breathe out again despite your plea<br />for air carbon dioxide free<br />(though wordless, I can hear you moan)<br />You hold your breath.<br />The lure of this activity<br />in skirting our mortality<br />to bring us to a mutual zone<br />hypoxic in progesterone <br />my will to yours becomes the key.<br />You hold your breathRachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-15913755014386514412013-11-16T05:42:18.264-05:002013-11-16T05:42:18.264-05:00What? "the arrhythmic way you've used you...What? "the arrhythmic way you've used your caesura"? Speak English, Ashley! ;^)<br /><br />But of course I'm glad you like it. As I've said before, I'm not sure I even believe this is poetry, but it's an enjoyable challenge.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-89019737319985269602013-11-14T01:25:50.101-05:002013-11-14T01:25:50.101-05:00That four beat refrain is so clever: the combinati...That four beat refrain is so clever: the combination of the erotically physical related to the pragmatically metaphoric. <br /><br />I'm also impressed (jealous) of the way arrhythmic was you've used your caesura in the final stanza. The balance is meticulous. Quality poetry.<br /><br />Ash Ashley Listerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11997769708965362938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-54948014321170152552013-11-12T09:03:54.677-05:002013-11-12T09:03:54.677-05:00Thank you for your kind comments, Ash. I'm ba...Thank you for your kind comments, Ash. I'm back from blushing now.Nettiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362204106596737098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-86671821972898322672013-11-11T22:19:45.601-05:002013-11-11T22:19:45.601-05:00Here's mine. Far more cerebral than Nettie'...Here's mine. Far more cerebral than Nettie's but I believe it fits the form.<br /><br />Restraint<br />By Lisabet Sarai<br /><br />My hands are tied, but were I free<br />I'd suck your cock and sip your pee;<br />I'd spread my lips so you could sense<br />the aromatic evidence<br />of what your voice can do to me.<br /><br />My flesh and heart in heat agree.<br />Unlock them both; you hold the key<br />to joy and anguish, both intense.<br />My hands are tied.<br /><br />You think me lost. Why can't you see?<br />If you should claim the whole of me<br />as yours, I'd offer no defense.<br />But you're a gentleman, and hence,<br />my ring makes all this fantasy.<br />My hands are tied.<br />Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-30463680834101612432013-11-11T07:23:21.654-05:002013-11-11T07:23:21.654-05:00Nettie - thank you for rising to the challenge on ...Nettie - thank you for rising to the challenge on this one. It's a restrictive format but, through enjambment and your natural talent, you've managed to work in some pretty stylish lines. solid rhyming, clever use of assonance on the second line, and (as Lisabet noted) the surprise of discovering that this is homoerotic poetry is cleverly placed in the third stanza.<br /><br />Damned good poetry.<br /><br />AshAshley Listerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11997769708965362938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-8830468021659997872013-11-10T23:18:23.108-05:002013-11-10T23:18:23.108-05:00Why thank you so much for reading & commenting...Why thank you so much for reading & commenting, Lisabet. I was surprised I could actually finish this piece.<br />best wishes<br />-nettieNettiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362204106596737098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-35682008758459531262013-11-10T22:09:20.630-05:002013-11-10T22:09:20.630-05:00Oh, Nettie! This is brilliant! You took me totally...Oh, Nettie! This is brilliant! You took me totally by surprise with "capricious cock". And the rhyme of 'eclipse' and 'dips' - unexpected and yet inevitable, as poetry should be!Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-90387247327617226672013-11-10T14:04:32.166-05:002013-11-10T14:04:32.166-05:00Let's try this again. All spelling and gramma...Let's try this again. All spelling and grammatical errors have been put there by an evil twin poster as I'd never make such an error m'self.<br /><br />He slid his thumb across my lips.<br />I trembled, falling off that cliff<br />of desire taken by surprise.<br />His slow movement - torture, devised<br />to pull me forward, make me trip<br /><br />into lust with him and eclipse<br />what I knew of myself. He dips<br />his thumb into my mouth, unwise<br />as that may be, I only nipped.<br />He slid his thumb<br /><br />against my tongue. I sucked. He slipped<br />it out, so wet, and rubbed the tip<br />of my capricious cock. Levis<br />taut, I'd popped buttons from the fly.<br />He grabbed my ass with a firm grip.<br />He slid his thumb...<br />Nettiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362204106596737098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-24186362534601945612013-11-10T13:59:42.069-05:002013-11-10T13:59:42.069-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Nettiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362204106596737098noreply@blogger.com