tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post7858548738279562001..comments2023-05-30T08:29:42.770-04:00Comments on The Erotica Readers & Writers Association Blog: The Trouble with “Safe” SexCroco Designshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04417265522875605547noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-87470559477167573852013-02-02T05:07:25.538-05:002013-02-02T05:07:25.538-05:00I haven't had the opportunity to read your mar...I haven't had the opportunity to read your marvelous post until now.<br /><br />As much as I admire and adore Lisabet (and I do, and in person at times) I think that Lisabet and I will probably never see eye to eye on what our obligations are as writers of erotic fiction. <br /><br />I think 'fiction' is our stock in trade. 'Fantasy' is what readers create with our fiction. And we can either hand them something to compare themselves to and excoriate themselves with, or we can offer them something that allows them to take their own, very real bodies and very real sexual experiences on the fictional journey with them.<br /><br />It's a 'red pill / blue pill' issue for me. And being the unpopulist, arrogant, elitist cunt I am, I just don't think it's fundamentally moral to keep feeding readers the red pill. Mostly because there is just so much erotic value to be found in realism, in the imperfect body, in the hiccuped sexual encounter. <br /><br />We have a deeply ambivalent relationship with sexuality and the body in our culture. And frankly, I don't care how much many readers crave total escapism - especially from the problems of their own body image. I don't feel in any way obligated to perpetuate their desire for the crap that ultimately reinforces their already well-tuned appetite for the impossible. There are already enough images, narratives and messages out there underscoring the gap between a normal woman and the 'ideal'. Ultimately, it serves a capitalist economic model that wants you to feel imperfect so you'll buy crap to make you more perfect. <br /><br />Now, the reality is, as a writer, you're probably not going to sell a lot of books if you don't offer that fantasy. But I can live with that.Remittance Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07902713020074243375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-78438053223347411802013-01-20T10:47:45.881-05:002013-01-20T10:47:45.881-05:00Outstanding post, Donna. I have always found real...Outstanding post, Donna. I have always found real people, or at least people who "feel" real in the reading, are sexier. I've always felt that was my place in erotica: Women with stretchmarks, people with a little extra weight or perhaps too skinny. People self-conscious trying to break from that tendency. And so on.<br /><br />But, to Lisabet's point, many people turn to erotica to be aroused, and if we want to resonate with these readers, we have to find a sweet spot.<br /><br />I don't think I ever found that sweet spot as a writer, but I had fun trying. As I look back, the least satisfying of my stories were the ones where I tried too hard to craft my tone to make the story fit this image.Craig Sorensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08101869420537661374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-27716472920290715862013-01-20T07:08:34.307-05:002013-01-20T07:08:34.307-05:00Hi, Donna,
As a former anorexic - don't get m...Hi, Donna,<br /><br />As a former anorexic - don't get me started about body image! <br /><br />With regard to writing about "real sex", in the sense of sex that's not stellar - maybe we brighten up the amorous landscape in order to counteract the negative associations with sex in so-called serious literature. Readers turn to erotica at least partly to be aroused, and in many cases to experience the kind of sexual satisfaction they may not have in their own lives. I think that's part of our contract with our readers. <br /><br />Does this mean that we need to write stereotyped, perfect characters or sex scenes without a single misstep or embarrassment? Of course not. But fantasy *is* our stock in trade. If we can make those fantasies feel real, all the better.Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-83890601121691244752013-01-18T19:30:22.316-05:002013-01-18T19:30:22.316-05:00It is a tough call whether to go with the initial ...It is a tough call whether to go with the initial impulse or listen to the seasoned editor (rather than the mean editor, finally I'm friends with a nice inner editor at times!) I do write with the expectations of the market in mind myself, although I also try to insert some sly elements of reality. And alas, there is that editorial opinion, plus the cover choice over which we often have no control. It's definitely a process, but being aware of it is an important first step.<br /><br />Your first version sounds very good to me, though!Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13615190390845433428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7396437919069310850.post-30599467663448177722013-01-18T11:29:33.819-05:002013-01-18T11:29:33.819-05:00Very good points, Donna. In the first draft of my ...Very good points, Donna. In the first draft of my current novel, I wrote the initial sexual encounter as being good but not great. Through the book made it better as they got to know each other. I changed that in the second and third draft. Maybe I should go back to my gut feeling about the truth of sex rather than the fantasy. (but what will my editor say?)Kathleen Bradeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347913255760493335noreply@blogger.com